Escaping into the open.

I don't like the word Writer's Block. Part of me believes that if a writer uses that term, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I can only speak from my experience, but in that funk that other folks call a block, I'm actually writing. And thinking about what I want to write. And turning ideas over in my head. The problem? It's the inner voice of judgment, that rejects the ideas and words as not good enough. But I'm right there at the keyboard tapping away or scribbling in my myriad notebooks.

I've been in a funk throughout Cherry Blossom Girl. Or maybe I'm just a slow writer. Really slow. It started towards the end of Kismet and its continuation was quite unexpected. The idea for CBG had been drafted and stored in a Word file since February 2008. I'd learned from my mistakes in Kismet and was really gung-ho about starting Sascha's story. But then I got into knit-picking and agonizing over every word. So from late September to March, I got about 2 1/2 chapters done.

In the last month or so, I've come to the realization that I needed to give that up and just write out my ideas. I guess I'm anal or stubborn, take your pick, because it's like trying to quit smoking.

During the peak of my frustration, I got Escaping into the Open by Elizabeth Berg. I haven't finished it yet becauseI focused on finishing chapter four, but it's a supportive conversation. It's not a tutorial per se but there are anecdotes and shared wisdoms that are comforting. It's like sitting down and spending an afternoon having tea with a wise friend. She did address the whole WB issue (notice I'm not using the term) and she doesn't call it that either. She made it feel like a natural part of the ebb and flow and that one should just have faith that the creative energies will return.

The wonderful thing I've gotten out of Literotica is the support and encouragement from readers and especially from other writers I've become friendly with. You don't feel like a nut when you go on about a particular scene, your struggles and concerns have merit.

Berg gave a story about a book she was contracted to write, one she had reservations about. Then she got a sign, can't remember what it was, and it turned out to be great. I do believe in those things so it made me smile that a bestselling author as believes that the universe sends about it's signs. Last week, Oprah had a guest named Noah. And some other things have appeared as well.

I came upon an interview Nora Roberts did for Borders that came as a cosmic nudge. She doesn't believe in muses. Well, no wonder I always feel like my muse is on the train I keep missing. In writing this all down, a thought just dawn on me. Labels and constructs can be very confining. So I'm doing my best to escape into the open.